clichés and choices...

Recent decision:  Return to Boise after my year of serving with 13^th Floor in South Africa.  Live in the same city as my boyfriend Damian and of course, my parents. Accept a two-year Young Life area associate position. Easy decision. Piece of cake.

Emotions following that decision: Total peace . . . for at least a week before the rollercoaster of fear, then peace, moving on to “what the crap?” followed by doubt, fear, blah, excitement, more doubt, full circle back to peace, lksdjfaoidjgfaekngj!!!!

How is that for a string of clichés?

Recently, I have noticed that my thought processes and journal entries have contained a lot of clichés. Not sure that I am okay with that. I am an artist. I am a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree accomplished artist, pushing towards creating Art with a capital “A”. Shouldn’t I be above silly clichés?

Clichés get a bad rap; after all, clichés achieve their status when there is a general consensus of validity behind them, a general opinion of truth in the way they express.

So forgive me as I share about the cliché God has been speaking to me in my life.

[Life is a story. He is the author.]

When I tell people about my relationship with Damian, often the first words they respond with are about what a cool, ironic “story” we have. I can’t tell you how many people have told me that if our relationship works out we should write a book.

During Damian’s visit this past September we decided to spend the next year together same country, time zone, state, and city.

Throughout our relationship people have given us abundant advice on what has worked for them and their relationships with significant others. While most of the advice has been great in intention, the consequence in my life has been this building pressure to live out everyone else’s story. I have gotten so lost in the relationship “rules” and “advice” that I started to miss what was actually unfolding in my own relationship with Damian.  I was completely missing the joy and excitement that comes with our own personal budding love story.  

This morning God reminded me of His truth and His cliché regarding the decision I made to move back to Boise. God is the author of my story.

God is writing the most beautiful, action packed, adventure filled, character focused love story out of my life. The purpose of my God-breathed story is to show people how much the creator of the world loves me. Every day becomes an opportunity to trust the author; he has my best interest in mind. Trusting results in greater peace, joy and anticipative excitement in what the future holds.

The other option is to choose fear and doubt stemming from a lack of trust. I can doubt that where God desires to lead me is actually better than where I am now. I can fear that He will desert me in the process, forgetting my needs. I can even fear that I may have wrongly discerned what I believe to be His will in my life. Ultimately fear that if I make the wrong decision I will be thrown out of his purpose for my life.

As the battle raged between peace and fear, I had this overwhelming revelation (of course, it is probably obvious to the reader).  There is one main thing that separates peace and fear, PRIDE. All of the fears and doubts were dripping with my pride and unbelief. Disgusting really. When the focus shifts from trusting God to self-absorption the result is unbridled fear.

So, a renewed commitment! From this point on, regarding the “next chapter” in my life, I choose to trust delight in the story that is being written.  I know He has called me back to Boise and I am super excited to serve on Young Life staff, walk forward in my relationship with Damian, make new friends and renew old ones, connect with dance opportunities, and enjoy being closer to my family. I choose to trust that my God is so much bigger than any of my mistakes. I choose to live in the joy that is the foundation and running theme of my story. I choose the love he is demonstrating to me daily.

I am going to embrace the cliché.

I pray that my story is one that can be read by the world; one that screams how much HE LOVES AND DELIGHTS IN ME!

Outreach

Both 13thFLOOR teams joined forces for a week in Mamelodi. We taught a dance and drama workshop one afternoon. We also helped in the preschool and orphanage, with children at the day center for disabled children (most with CP), with house visits to TB and HIV patients, in the hospice, and with random handyman work around the complex.

Failed Blogged

So I have failed...

I made a goal to update my blog every other week...and I have fail epically! This touring season has been hectic, not just in my schedule but in the the journey I have been on with the students, the Lord and myself. In the weeks to come I am going to try to turn back the clock and write posts about highlights from the past 3 months.

In the meantime here is a cheesy trailer of the adventure I have been on...Enjoy!

Just Laugh a Little

During this first tour cycle, laughter was such a great medicine for the team.

I have had to cope with many a circumstance here in South Africa by laughing at myself. Taking myself too seriously is counterproductive to being a good leader. For people who know me, I have come a long way from my neurotic need for perfection. South Africa is good for me.

I have been reminded of this coping method a lot this past two weeks. My parents came all the way across the Atlantic ocean to visit me! It been such an amazing 2 1/2 weeks with them. Watching them navigate a new country (food, driving on the "wrong" side of the road, language, potholes, directions, etc.) has been a great reminder of how necessary it is to laugh at circumstances out of your control and enjoy the journey no matter how bumpy it may be. 

Sarah Young in Jesus Calling:

Learn to Laugh at yourself more freely. Don’t take yourself or your circumstance so seriously. Relax and know that I am God with you. 

When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening. Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities—things that are beyond your control. Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of your domain.

Laughter lightens your load and lifts your heart into heavenly places. Your laughter rises to heaven and blends with angelic melodies of praise. Just as parents delight in the laughter of their children, so I delight in hearing My children laugh. I rejoice when you trust n Me enough o enjoy your life lightheartedly.

Do no miss the Joy of My Presence by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Rather, take My yoke upon you and learn from Me. My yoke is comfortable and pleasant; My burden is light and easily borne. 

Tour Begins: Learning to Serve

“The son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” Matthew 20:28

On May 5 we packed the truck and the quantums and hit the road for OUR FIRST TOUR!!! The moment we had been waiting and training for, tour! We traveled to Eastern Cape for just over 3 weeks of shows and service.  

The year of working with 13^th Floor has taught me a new level of depth when it comes to understanding God’s call to service. I must admit, my service is usually not typified by selflessness. The following reading by Oswald Chambers speaks to the level of service I believe God wants to develop in my life and heart:

Oswald Chambers in His Upmost for His Highest

Serving the team: Running a rehearsal

           

We somehow have the idea that a person called to the ministry is called to be different and above other people. But according to Jesus Christ, he is called to be a “doormat” for others—called to be their spiritual leader, but never their superior.

Serving the orphaned: Teaching a dance to orphans in Malmesbury

Paul’s idea of service was to pour his life out to the last drop for others. And whether he received praise or blame made no difference.

But the chief motivation behind Paul’s service was not love for others but love for his Lord.

If our devotion is to the cause of humanity, we will be quickly defeated and broken-hearted, since we will often be confronted with a great deal of ingratitude from other people. But if we are motivated by our love for God, no amount of ingratitude will be able to hinder us from serving one another.

Serving the each other during set-down

            Paul’s understanding of how Christ had dealt with him is the secret behind his determination to serve others. “I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man…” (1 Timothy 1:13). In other words, no matter how badly others may have treated Paul, they could never have treated him with the same degree of spite and hatred with which he had treated Jesus Christ.

Once we realize that Jesus has served us even to the depths of our meagerness, our selfishness, and our sin, nothing we encounter from others will be able to exhaust our determination to serve others for His sake.

Serving the hosting communities through intercession

Don't Try This at Home!

We just started rehearsing our fourth and final stage show, Becca.  The show addresses fatherlessness and the human trafficking. (Think the movie Taken.)  I play the main character, Becca. The last scene is a hectic dance scene in which I get saved from the Madame of the brothel as she sells me to some Turks.

This video was taken during our first rehearsal...

Boys and Girls, don't try this at home. 

Culture Field Trip

One of our main focuses this past month at 13thFLOOR has been 'CULTURE.'  

uncovering

unwrapping

understanding

rejecting

embracing 

researching

practicing

learning

sharing

creating

CULTURE

As part of our study the 2nd and 3rd year students took a day field trip to the Soweto Township outside of Johannesburg. Here are clips of some of what we saw.

Yanga enjoying his sheep's head.

The Black Madonna

Protests started inside this church. There are still bullet holes in the ceiling.

School kids outside of the Hector Pieterson Museum.

Kliptown

Visiting the NBA's Basketball Without Borders SKY Center

Students from SKY perform. They were amazing!!!

My SA Home

My New South Africa Home

13thFLOOR Campus

Outside of Pretoria, SA

Rest for the Weary

Jeffery's Bay: Sunrise over the Indian Ocean

"He gives power to the weak

and strength to the powerless.

Even youths will become weak and tired,

and young men will fall in exhaustion.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new

strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:29-31

Here at 13^th FLOOR, the first five weeks of the training period have been intense for all of the students. Actually, intense isn’t a strong enough word - down right exhausting is more like it. This past week, I was sitting on the beach staring at the sand taking in its form. The erosion of siliceous and other rocks over a long, long period of time forms sand. Erosion and change takes years upon years. Often change within a person takes years as well. On the other hand, there are significant acts of nature that dramatically change large rocky edifices into millions of tiny stones.  I feel this later description fits the dramatic nature of pressure and change going on in the students’ lives in the first five weeks of joining the 13^thFLOOR  performing arts ministry. They have been pushed physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In only five weeks we have traversed from casting calls to completing dress rehearsals for two of our four shows. Our daily schedule often begins at 6am and ends at 11:30 pm. They have been challenged daily with teachings and lessons opening their minds and challenging their view or God and themselves. And for many of them, it is their first time living away from home. Many of the students and leaders, including myself, were on the verge of complete exhaustion. But, God stepped in. His timing couldn’t have been better timed.

We all packed our bags, loaded the vans and headed to Jeffery’s Bay for Inofez. Inofez is a yearly conference for gap year ministries to network and learn together. Normally days are jammed full of daytime sessions, nightly worship and teaching. This year, however, there was a lot more free time than normal. God provided a much needed time to rest and refuel. AND, I finally could enjoy time to be relational. It was such a joy for me to see the students lying at the beach, learning more about each other and just simply taking time to rest. As Isaiah 40 says,  “even youths will become weak and tired…(but) He gives power to the weak.” 

We were beyond tired but He gave us exactly what we needed. He truly is a giving God!

Out of My Control

Last week was “just one of those weeks.” Nothing seemed easy. I have been searching for a flat since before I even arrived here, but it seems the rest of Pretoria is on the hunt for a flat as well. Carine (my future roommate) and I have really liked a couple of flats, but each time we have applied someone beat us to the punch. I have also been looking for a car.  I found one online that seemed just perfect. I was so excited to finally have a bit of freedom …but the car ended up being too good to be true. AND I was close to losing my entire savings in a fraudulent transaction.  I woke up with an intense migraine and rash all over my hand. My phone stopped working, my Internet wouldn’t log on, and the bank put a block on my cards. An added dimension is that it was fundraising week, which meant standing at the stoplights (or they call robots) very early every morning, dressed in funny costumes, asking the stopped cars to donate money, admittedly, an approach not customary to fundraising in the U.S. As if that is not enough, it was the week of our first dress rehearsal which went from 8:00 am Monday morning until 4:30 am Tuesday.  Motivating a team who was exhausted physically and emotionally used up my final emotional reserves. I was spinning out of control. THEN GOD SPOKE. . . AND REMINDED ME THAT HE HAS BEEN, IS STILL AND WILL ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL.

I was desperate for a moment to myself. I opened up my copy of Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young.  God spoke loud and clear…

Trust Me, and don’t be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure. 

When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom. Say yes to the way I work in your life. Trust Me, and don’t be afraid.

(Isaiah 12:2, Psalm 61:2-4, 2 Corinthians 3:18)

I felt like God was using Young's pen to speak directly to me.  The WORD of God is perfect for teaching and reproach. I humbled myself and asked for His WORD to redeem me and make right a new perspective in me. I praise His name. I am being forced to rely on him in ways I never have before, but I love it. Praise Him for being forever faithful and forever personal.

Purple's Management Committee

Meet the 2012 13thFLOOR Purple Team's Management Committee...

Jaco B., Lindsey, Johan, Carla, Valentia, Jaco N., and Myself

Culture Shock(ish)

Today marks my one month anniversary away from the States. While there are some very large differences in culture between the States and South Africa, I have found that the little day-to-day unspoken rules and nuances have had a greater affect on me.  I have soooooooo much more to learn about that many cultures here, but I thought I would share some of the small differences I have discovered so far:

BARE FEET: It is perfectly acceptable to go into stores, malls, petrol stations, and restaurants without shoes. While I love being barefoot, it still catches me off guard to see a man walking out of the grocery store with no shoes on, or glance over at the person next to me in Wimpys (a popular restaurant similar to a Denny's) and see their toes wiggling around.
(Ironically though, we did get stopped while trying to enter a dodgy bar because one of the guys had sandals on. Go figure.)

GREETINGS: In Afrikaans culture it is very rude to not greet someone the first time you see them each day. In the mornings you must greet each individual person the first time you see them. Also if you visit their home, each member of the family will stop what they are doing to come greet you. When you leave you must say farewell to each family member and the entire family will walk you to your car and wave goodbye as you drive away. So many 'good mornings,' 'hello's,' and 'goodbye's'!

MEAT: Meat, meat, and more meat! I feel like I have eaten an entire family of cows already. They love to braai (which is similar to a barbecue). I have had at least two braai meals each week since I have been here. They will eat red meat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And one of the popular snacks is Biltong which is similar to jerky but better.

ANIMALS: Only in Africa can you get an Ostrich at an animal shelter! Last week, a group of us went to the animal shelter to get a new dog for campus. I was so shocked to see that you could adopt  not only just dogs and cats but also an Ostrich!

My First Days in South Africa . . .

Moving to the campus of 13th Floor near Pretoria is not so different then my first month adjusting to my life as a college student at the University of MN.  I am FAR from home and familiarity, living in tight quarters with dozens of young adults between 19-21 years of age, and wondering what I have gotten myself in to.  Then I remember that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, I am going to grow through trusting God in all circumstances, and some amazing memories will be built.  Then, I take a big sigh, and all feels better. 

Fun Adventures so Far: 1) Lighting lanterns on New Year's Eve with Damian and his family, 2) Surviving an extreme wilderness camping experience in the bush, 3) Singing in an audition (can only appreciate when you know I don't even sing alone with the radio when I'm alone), 4) Surviving days with little or no sleep, 4) Three weeks of no Internet connection (I survived) and lastly, 5) I am having to juggle the roles of producer, advisor, dance teacher, actor, and dancer.

 Sky Lanterns on New Years

Registration. Yay for students arriving!

Prayer and Support during the grueling Adventure Camp

Team Building during the Spider's Web